Fear

I think fear has been a big part of my life and I have just realized that within the past couple years (and I am almost 32) when I was diagnosed with anxiety. God put me in a work atmosphere where I was always so fearful-so panicky and I didn't know why. He then showed me that I have anxiety.

It hit me then that I probably have had anxiety for most of my life. It all made sense to me and I didn't know why I hadn't connected anxiety with how I was feeling before. It has stopped me from doing things(missed opportunities), hanging out with people, speaking up etc...... and I really wanted to break free from this Fear that anxiety has brought into my life. Anxiety is still there but I recognize it (with discernment) now.

Have you heard that song "Our God" by Chris Tomlin
And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us.
And if our God is with us, then what could stand against.
And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us.
And if our God is with us, then what could stand against

I love this song. I mean I have heard this verse before but when this song came out this verse had more meaning to me. If God is right there with us and for us then why should we be afraid? (I know it is harder then it sounds-I am not trying to make it sound easy).....but it is something that I think of when I have some anxiety going on.
Romans 8:31 "If God is for us, who can be against us?"

One thing that happened in the past few weeks is that I started a new job. A job 2 1/2 years in the making..hehe! And always on the first day you are always a little nervous and maybe a tad fearful. I have been doing retail for the past 2 1/2 years and now I am doing Data Entry at a well known facillity. I haven't ever had an office job-I have always been in customer service type jobs. So this wa s a brand new professional experience.

Within the first week I was like whoa am I really going to be able to do this should I go back to my old job which I knew i was good at (pricing in the fashion dept)? Then I was like NO. I wasn't going to let fear get to me. And now that I have been there for a few weeks I have realized that I don't really have a lot of anxiety there. I do work retail mon and wed nights and I notice right away that I am panicky there.

I have been on meds for a few weeks and I have noticed that my panickyness has gotten better and then I think of that song/verse. And I tell myself-what am I so afraid of? And honestly I think that it is because I am afraid that a customer will come up to me and ask me questions that I don't know the answer to and I panic (sounds dumb I know)......and I don't like cashiering and sometimes I get called up to help-I do have anxiety up there.....

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you" Deuteronomy 31:6

God is bigger then anything. And if God is giving you a passion for something then you shouldn't let fear get in the way of it or any insecurities you may have. If God is for us then who could ever stop us? If it is God tellling you to do something don't be afraid because the only one stopping you is probably yourself.

Sidewalk Prophets - You Love Me Anyway

This song really touches me whenever I hear it. There are some things in my life that I probably shouldn't have done (haven't we all?) We disobey God all the time and yet He love us NO MATTER WHAT! I mean we seriously were those people who were yelling "crucify him" and yet He still loves us, gives us grace, and blesses us. It gives me chills just to think about that.